A service on compassion...

So, for my UU church, I was asked to give a service. It's my first one, and though I am familiar with the basic agenda of our services, presenting one is an entirely different thing. Therefore, I am posting as a blog that which I have assembled thus far. Please comment. It's a little long, but it's most of what I wish to say:

Living a Compassionate Life
by Bridgette Brady

"A small boy lived by the ocean. He loved the creatures of the sea, especially the starfish, and spent much of his time exploring the seashore. One day he learned there would be a minus tide that would leave the starfish stranded on the sand. The day of the tide he went down to the beach and began picking up stranded starfish and tossing them back into the sea. An elderly man who lived next door came down to the beach to see what he was doing. "I'm saving the starfish," the boy proudly declared. When the neighbor saw all of the stranded starfish, he shook his head and said "I'm sorry to disappoint you, young man, buf if you look down the beach one way, there are stranded starfish as far as the eye can see. And if you look down the beach the other way, it's the same. One little boy like you isn't going to make much of a difference." The boy thought about this for a moment. Then he reached his small hand down to the sand, picked up a starfish, tossed it out into the ocean and said, "I sure made a difference for that one."

Compassion is innate to our souls. Compassion is what connects us to each other. I will borrow some words today from Thich Nhat Hahn and the Buddist idealogy to encourage and explain how a compassionate life makes you happier, fulfilled, and can help you find peace in the midst of torment and tragedy. Loving is a mind that brings peace, joy, and happiness to another being. Compassionate is a mind that removes the suffering that is present in another being. We all have the seeds of both love and compassion in our minds and know, somewhere, that a simple act of compassion is a perfect thing; it is it's own reward. While we can argue that nothing we ever do is truly selfless, compassion is, by nature, as self-serving as it is charitable. When you know that you have done good, when you have brought light into the dark, no matter how small the flame, you have changed someone or something for the better. It makes YOU feel better. It's almost selfish, actually, except for the fact that you have shared it with the world. For if your kindness in mirrored in another, and another, the change you have caused is immeasurable.
Compassion means, literally, "to suffer with". When we are in contact with another's suffering, a feeling of compassion is born within us. And I think that we, as UU's, are openly compassionate by nature. We realize the suffering around us, acknowledging that all people and beings suffer in some manner. From poverty, from fear, from oppression, from loneliness..from all those things that disconnect us from each other. But by living compassionately- by listening and doing and loving and helping- we remove some of the suffering in the world. It brings joy and love into our own hearts and relieves the suffering we feel privately in our lives.
Which brings me to the actual subject of Living a Compassionate Life. What does it mean and how do we do it? Certainly, no one is perfect. But in striving for perfection, we come to know our strengths and weaknesses. To me, a compassionate life is simply staying open to others despite my busy-ness, my personal struggles, my finances, and my own life. Specifically, it means mindful attention of my own power to good, cause change, and relieve suffering where I see it. It is the ability and trust in myself to do the right thing, take time to listen to what people are really saying, and, without fanfare and pats on the back, do what I can to make things easier for them. It's a little extra snowblowing, the change on the floor of my truck when I clean it, two bags of dogfood instead of one, phone calls to people I know are alone, cookies for the recently broken hearted, publicity for an event, a ride to the grocery store, and the most simple, basic acts of kindness.
Compassion is mentioned in various dogmas as a tenet of almost every faith on the planet. From Jesus' teaching to 'do unto others you would have done unto you' to Buddha's statement, 'In compassion lies the world's great strength'. Compassion can easily extend to the more strict principles of monks, who live by the idea that we are all inherently equal as we live, and that we must strive every moment to never unnecessarily harm any other living beings, but that's way easier said than done, as anyone who's ever lived a vegan, vegetarian, or fruitarian lifestyle can attest. Try getting through a summer day without killing a bug, for example, and you'll see how much compassion you really do have inside of you.
While I certainly won't lecture on or espouse that kind of strict discipline to you, what I do want to stress is just how easy it is to live a MORE compassionate life. Mindfulness and attention to all the life around you will yield endless opportunities for happiness and chances to be compassionate. And trust me...when you lie down at night knowing that you did good every time you could, that no matter how many bad things happened to you or how stressed you were that day, a life was, if only momentarily, made better because you came into it...you'll rest a little easier every day. It does wonders for your ego, your self-worth, and your ability to manage emotional crises.
Start simply by going home today after this very service and put your plants in the best possible window, even if it means changing your furniture around a little. They'll let you know in two days how much they appreciate it. Be as happy to see your dog as he is to see you. Every time. Take her for an extra long walk as soon as you can manage it. Remember to do that as often as possible. Think of your neighbors. Shovel a little more or send them a card to thank them for being great or for always having a nice yard. Thank store clerks and cashiers for their hard work. Include a note with a tip to say thank you for the service. Send cards to soldiers. Visit the elderly. Sing with children. Donate what you can in time and money. Most importantly, never let a chance to make a change pass you by. If you think of it, do it. There's a guy who walks by the station every morning and picks cigarette butts out of our ashcan. Every once in a while, when we think of it, we put a full pack in there for him or a five dollar bill. It's that easy.
If you're feeling adventurous, try being vegetarian one day a week as a compassionate act toward animals, or if you must eat meat, bring some toys out to the animal shelter. I started my own change toward a compassionate existence a year ago when I went to work for PETA for a week. Now, I'm not here to champion that cause at all, I just mention it to illustrate how I came to be such a proponent of this movement. After that week, I realized that you can write letters, shout from the rooftops, argue, protest, demostrate, and fight and be a visible, public warrior, or you can choose to live by example. Shouting and scare tactics will get you noticed, but living what you believe will get you heard. Without drawing attention to yourself, you can make a far deeper impression by helping one person at a time, as often as you can. I am amazed at the peaceful, calming change that has come over me in this past year since I have made a point of living by example my argument for compassionate choices. And the hidden benefit, which I never expected, is that I am proud of myself and trust completely that I will do the right thing whenever I find myself tested.
Instead of getting angry on those days when the transmission blows up, the gas was all siphoned out of the snowblower, the dogs tore up the couch, the roof has sprung an urgent leak, the work is all on my shoulders, and I usually would feel like fate is against me, I approach it with an inward peace and say, "I must need to do some good today since all this bad has happened." Then I go out and look for it. I drop off old clothes, write a thank you card, hold doors for old people, smile at everyone, offer a hand wherever it's needed, and shortly, the day isn't as bad as it seemed.
You can make a tremendous difference. And you can do it every day. Not just for others, but for yourself. Compassion is what connects us..the ability to recognize and feel the pain and happiness in others and to share or relieve it is what makes us human. Compassion is within every person, and unfortunately, it's become buried under activities, entitlement, selfishness and greed. To paraphrase the Dalai Lama on the subject, compassion and a good heart are developed through constant and conscious effort. If we all start to nurture it within ourselves, we start to nurture it in the world.