Oh, yay.

I got to see Dustin today. He's happy. Kind of filled my heart up.


Other than that, last night, the Boy From Three Blogs Ago and I were at the theater working on this hilarious project. The Full Monty calls for a scene with a car, and being as I can't just ever take 'good enough' as an answer, I have a golf cart packed into the backstage mayhem. (Which thus far includes a giant wagon with three sides of scenery, two sofas, a bed, a big chair, a coffee table, a park bench, a 10x8 foot lit sign, a big window frame, a ladder, two full size trees, a piano, three drops, full lighting equipment, three props tables, four clothing racks, a gravestone with a bench, another bench, two end tables, a giant television, and about 10 folding chairs.) It's a full old-style cart with a fabric top and two roomy seats and a big steering wheel. Being as The Boy has more experience modifying vehicles than anyone I know, I asked for his help. Now, this is not my golf cart, and I could not permanently modify it in any fashion for the play. So, using six big sheets of cardboard, a big tube full of zip ties, two giant flashlight heads and three rolls of duct tape, we have fashioned the funniest looking car I have ever seen out of that cart. I'd post a picture, but it's not painted yet and I don't want to ruin the surprise if you come see it. Basically, it looks like a Scion crossed with a short bus on a golf cart frame. It's appropriately silly and I just adore it.

It was just the two of us, and I kept thinking of Red's advice to wait for the moment to profess, and after about six of those perfect moments came and went, and while we were standing next to each other, laughing and taping and being the way we are, which is a way I am not with anyone else in the world, I realized that losing that would destroy me, and maybe if I knew him the other way, this would disappear. I'm not sure enough to risk it at the moment. Eventually, I will. Eventually I will spill and send him the email that is already Red-Approved and tell him I think we should give it a whirl, but right now is not the time. His current gf, with whom he is not now nor will ever be in love, is debating moving in with him. He is still caught up on someone else. It's right before Valentine's Day. I am desperate at the moment, and far too busy to devote the time to nurturing.

I am SOLID in the belief that if I DON'T say it, I will always wonder if I should have. So I will. Really. It's just that even when the moment is right, it doesn't feel RIGHT. I hope I'm not making excuses for myself. I probably am, but I just can't stress enough how it felt; I would open my mouth, put my hand on his arm, and then tell him a joke. So, that's put aside, and there will be no more talk of it until I am ready to do it.

Otherwise, the Hot Metal Six were doing the last scene last night, when all of a sudden they took off their pants, turned around, and showed it off. It was the first I've seen of the actual nudity, and it was just fucking beautiful. I love this play, because it's normal people that you end up cheering for like they were Brad Pitt. I love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. This cast is just the most amazing thing. I truly am blessed.