And then there's Maude...

For some reason, I woke up this morning with the theme song from Maude in my head, but it was the Family Guy version, and I don't know the words at all, so basically, I am just walking around the office today saying, "And then there's Maude, dammit!"


My life as if it were a game of Jeopardy!:

Alex Trebek: Five thousand dollars.
Me: What is the price to fix my basement! Yes!!
Alex Trebek: Correct.
Me: I'll take Bad News For My Entire Future Career, please.
Alex: Cumulus took a giant hit in the market and is laying off countless people in countless markets, as well as instituting a hiring freeze corporation-wide.
Me: What is the reason I am not getting the job in Green Bay, Alex?
Alex: Correct!
Me: Whoo!!
Alex: Bridgette, choose again. You have Moles That Look Like They Might Be Skin Cancer, The Most Difficult Part of Quitting Smoking Is Still Ahead of You, or The Bed Is Broken, There's a Terrific Pain in Your Foot, and Other Minor Problems That Seem Insurmountable Today.
Me: Ooh. Let's see...I'll go with the Minor Problems, I think.
Alex: Good Choice. Here's your answer: Homeless, penniless, alone, and without food or needed medication.
Me: I got it! How I'm Gonna Die?!
Alex: Oh, I'm sorry. The question is actually 'December'. 'December' is the question.
Me: That's not a question, it's a month.
Alex: That month is fully IN question for you.
Me: Oh. Okay. Thanks?


I just feel bleak and blah today. And whining, for some reason, is making me feel better. My lungs will not give up the damn infection despite Day #5 of Levaquin, I am out of asthma juice, my basement is f.o.u.l., I loathe my job, I have to bartend tonight until the end of time, I didn't get to my advising appointment today in Iron Mountain, and I am a crabby, crabby girl from nicotine withdrawals.

On the good side, I am Monty-confident today. Kells and I went to get the carpet tubes which will soon be steam pipes running up and down my brilliant set design, and when I stopped by her new house, I saw a very grizzlied-up Mark in a nightdress (I hestitate to label it a gown, as it was mostly a fitted blanket with sleeves and a collar), and for some reason, seeing a normal guy that I know sitting around in an outfit like that, with bedhead and bedbeard reaffirmed my faith in men. Why? No idea. It was just nice to see, I guess.

As for Hween costumes, the Benson is resplendent in his Michael Phelps outfit, and as much as I absolutely love him for his Hween creativity, I just canNOT get into it much in the past few years. I was thinking on a tshirt that says, "I'm a PC and I don't wear costumes", but now I think I might just wear a tshirt that says 'Liberal' on it and then pierce a doll's head with an arrow, bloody up the whole thing and be a 'baby-killing Liberal'.

It seems a little angry, though.

Maybe I'll just be a Liberal. No matter what else, I am definitely going to take a nap. Right now.